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2/19/2014 6:24 pm  #11


Re: Knock yourselves out

I looked at the manuscript today and found some errors, mostly typographical.

Unknown page, character creation step by step list- Brawling, melee ranged and defense listed like old system...update for Mythic.
page 115, no introductoin to Bloodless Hand looks like a line or two are missing
Page 133 Title heading for particular types of Demons needed.
Reverse alphabetical order for named demons-clever, I like it.
For named demons, increase number to six to allow a random die role for Game Masters???
Page 127 (manuscript numbering at bottom of page) artEfacts change to artifacts?
Page 144 GM versus Gm-capital letter needed.
Page 173 Blue GiantsS- extra s in word
Page 178 Whta to What
Adventure: Krongar and the Curse of the Bloodless, needs a rewrite. The tone is entirely different that the rest of the manuscript and in first person. Change to match the rest of the adventures.
Page 179 Table: Krongars task is (line #4 add "destroy a thing" and redo table to three columns.) Better looking consistancy with rest of tables.

There was another early on and I can't think of it right now. I'll post again if it comes up. Other than these quibbles a fairly clean manuscript.

Keith

 

2/19/2014 11:07 pm  #12


Re: Knock yourselves out

Simon W wrote:

http://beyondbeliefgames.webs.com/BoL_Mythic_Playtest_Draft.pdf

I'll leave it here for a week, so grab it while you can!

Then post your thoughts...

Is it Christmas already?  I thought it was only February!


Where's my axe?
 

2/19/2014 11:13 pm  #13


Re: Knock yourselves out

keithvaughn wrote:

I looked at the manuscript today and found some errors, mostly typographical.

Unknown page, character creation step by step list- Brawling, melee ranged and defense listed like old system...update for Mythic.
page 115, no introductoin to Bloodless Hand looks like a line or two are missing
Page 133 Title heading for particular types of Demons needed.
Reverse alphabetical order for named demons-clever, I like it.
For named demons, increase number to six to allow a random die role for Game Masters???
Page 127 (manuscript numbering at bottom of page) artEfacts change to artifacts?
Page 144 GM versus Gm-capital letter needed.
Page 173 Blue GiantsS- extra s in word
Page 178 Whta to What
Adventure: Krongar and the Curse of the Bloodless, needs a rewrite. The tone is entirely different that the rest of the manuscript and in first person. Change to match the rest of the adventures.
Page 179 Table: Krongars task is (line #4 add "destroy a thing" and redo table to three columns.) Better looking consistancy with rest of tables.

There was another early on and I can't think of it right now. I'll post again if it comes up. Other than these quibbles a fairly clean manuscript.

Keith

Thanks Keith.
 

     Thread Starter
 

2/21/2014 10:06 am  #14


Re: Knock yourselves out

Was there any specific, feedback wise, you were aftre Simon?

 

2/21/2014 1:59 pm  #15


Re: Knock yourselves out

Murgh Bpurn wrote:

Was there any specific, feedback wise, you were aftre Simon?

Nothing specific, no

     Thread Starter
 

2/21/2014 3:07 pm  #16


Re: Knock yourselves out

Simon W wrote:

Murgh Bpurn wrote:

Was there any specific, feedback wise, you were aftre Simon?

Nothing specific, no

OK

So, what I will say is:

I love all the rules tweaks, they only make it better, imo. If you were to Kickstart and offered this document to backers at a $1 pledge (and above), I'm convinced the majority would upgrade to the full versions (pdfs / books).

The pdf was slightly hard to read, only in that it was unformatted, I didn't find any issues with the text, but as I've mentioned before I'm no editor. Again, if you were to Kickstart and offered it at the $1 pledge, a simple format of the headings would make it a much easier read.

To be honest I didn't read the setting information, as it's a setting that find it hard to get into for some reason... :s

You mentioned an artist that you'd been in contact with, it would be nice to see his portfolio.

If you were keeping to the theme of the last book and had a portrait for each of the careers, this could easily be made into a pledge level where backers get their likeness drawn for one of the careers.

(Oh, and we really need an edit button on this forum! For some reason my iOS auto correct doesn't work either )

 

2/25/2014 1:59 pm  #17


Re: Knock yourselves out

So, anyone else read through it yet?

     Thread Starter
 

2/25/2014 2:20 pm  #18


Re: Knock yourselves out

Oh, and examples were good!
 

 

2/26/2014 8:27 am  #19


Re: Knock yourselves out

Simon W wrote:

So, anyone else read through it yet?

Hi Simon

I am hoping to have a good read through this tonight. I did send some thoughts a while back via email as well.

 


Wealth can be wonderful, but you know, success can test one's mettle as surely as the strongest adversary.
 

2/26/2014 11:15 am  #20


Re: Knock yourselves out

Simon W wrote:

So, anyone else read through it yet?

I glanced/skimmed through it when you posted it, but have yet been able to sit down and actually give it a full read.

I shall do so within the next day or two!


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